My marriage is fixed. My future husband repeatedly calls me to meet me in private and pressure me to have a relationship. What should I do?

XXX - Absolutely!! I so wanted to go out together and be close with you. I craved that soooooo much. But you know what?

X- ( Speechless, angry and somewhat hurt at the same time) Couldn’t elicit any reaction 🙁

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X- What?

XXX- See. I am an Indian middle class guy. I have grown up on the idea of having a “PURE” girl as my wife. Although i was craving physical intimacy with my to be partner, however if you had gone out with me on this trip and ended up being physically close to me, my mind would have raised a thousand questions on your chastity.

XXX - If you had agreed to go out with me and we got physically close even before we entered the wedlock, it would have impacted my decision to get married to you.

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A husband and a wife having a candid conversation after 5 years into the marriage. Lets call the wife X and the husband XXX

My mind would have asked me that if you could have done it with me before marriage, you might have done it with others too and you might not be a pure girl that I want as my life partner.

X- Do you remember how you used to push me for planning an outstation trip together to Jaipur before we were even married ? I always could sense what you had in mind. So always dodged you saying my parents won’t agree, I can’t take extended leaves as after marriage I would have to take an extended one month leave etc etc.

Why did I move on so fast from a relationship that was my whole life and I was so attached, I moved on by 2 months?

I don’t know how common this mentality is among men. But I feel Indian men are dwindling between attempting to be modern yet are old fashioned and rigidly conventional at core.

XXX ( Kissing her forehead)- Yeah I know. But that sweetheart was my litmus test for you and I am glad you passed the test with flying colours. I am almost sure that if you had slept with me before marriage, I would’ve canceled the wedding making up some reason . It was extremely important for me to have a wife with good character.

X- Okay!! I am confused now. Can you explain what was on your mind?

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You know this guy and your situation better. Act carefully and do not give in to any demands that doesn’t feel right to you. Wishing you a very happy married life ahead :)

IDK may be God saved X from this situation of being used in the name of litmus test and then being discarded in the name of purity by a guy who isn’t ashamed of himself for being capable of conducting such litmus tests on another human.

X- Do you remember our courtship? How we used to meet every Saturday, me talking an off from work and you sneaking out of home for our dates?

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X ( Aghast at this revelation)- But we were engaged and you said you loved me. You were the one who were after my life for this trip. How would that make me and me alone an impure person?

XXX- Yeah man!! Those were the days. It felt like we were dating and not courting for marriage.